Hello again avid followers and curious newcomers!
As the title suggests, this was meant to be posted closer to Valentine’s Day, but shlit happens and here we are. The important thing is not the when, but the what, and the what would be two movies that I saw around Valentine’s Day.
Valentine’s Day is a day many people dread. Whether you are single or in a relationship, this Hallmark Holiday is usually stressful, upsetting, disappointing, or just really nothing special at all. To avoid celebrating this holiday, my Dear One and I went to the movies the Sunday before the prolific holiday, and I was ecstatic.
The two movies we saw together were none other than Sci-Fi epic Jupiter Ascending and Medievalist Fantasy flick Seventh Son. Here I am going to warn you all, my opinion on these films will not match up with the reviews of “professional” critics or film snobs, but my reasons for adoring these films are not just the effect of “guilty pleasure”. No. My reasons for liking these films will be succinct, logical, and hopefully able to reaffirm or encourage interest in both of these box office flops.
First and foremost I will address Jupiter Ascending, which did considerably better than Seventh Son. Created by the same minds behind The Matrix Trilogy, Jupiter Ascending follows somewhat the same line of philosophical and religious creativity.
The story follows a young woman named Jupiter (Mila Kunis) who discovers she is in fact (SPOILER ALERT) the reincarnation of a galactic human queen. With the help of some fallen angels (Sean Bean and Channing Tatum), Jupiter ascends to her role as a royal in order to save the Earth from being harvested in order to create nectar (which is basically vaporized humans which keeps the aristocratic humans in space young).
To some, this may seem like a silly idea, but I think it’s quite clever. Jupiter Ascending should not be viewed as a simple movie. Unlike The Matrix before it (I’m not counting the sequels here), this film should be absorbed in a way that is completely different from what people are used to. For you see… Jupiter Ascending is a traditional epic myth. That’s right, this film falls under the same genre as Homer and Hesiod and Ovid.
Let me explain.
This film acts as a traditional epic myth, with a heroic character with something special about her (in this case a reincarnation of a queen) who goes on a 3 step adventure against forces which slowly become more dangerous. She goes into the Otherworld (or outer space) and there meets characters such as the tyrant, the trickster and the enchantress (the three royal siblings), and must follow her own instincts to complete her quest and save the world. For anyone who has studied mythology, it should be pretty obvious that Jupiter Ascending is drawing from the ancient oral traditions and turning it into a film. I believe it is because of this fact that Jupiter Ascending has not received the same praise as The Matrix, which follows the more recognizable Jesus Christ storyline as opposed to an epic myth.
Speaking of Jesus, this film also draws more from eastern religions as opposed to western religions — Hinduism and Buddhism are the most obvious to see. There are, however, angels and fallen angels (who are in fact just galactic cops with gene-spliced wings). There are also explanations for alien sightings, the dinosaur extinction, crop circles, werewolves, and ancient gods, such as the Greek and Roman gods (nectar was what they drank to remain immortal) and Hindu gods (one of the characters we meet is a human/elephant splice named Nesh — he’s awesome). This film also takes an interesting twist on aliens, explaining that there is no such thing, simply humans who aren’t from Earth and possible a splice with some kind of animal (wolves in the case of Channing Tatum and bees in the case of Sean Bean).
The costume design, the makeup, and the production design (specifically the design of the ships) is incredibly beautiful and well crafted. It’s obvious that a lot of people put a hell of a lot of effort into this film, which is always nice to see.
The acting was well done too. Mila Kunis does a great job as Jupiter, and the chemistry between her and Channing Tatum was so sweet. It felt real and their sometimes awkward conversations reminds me of anyone who has a crush on someone who seems out of his/her league and they’re not entirely sure what to say. It’s adorable. It’s also refreshing how quickly the dialogue goes. Very rarely do you feel like you’re being talked down to because the audience has no idea what’s going on. You learn along with Jupiter, and often the learning experience comes from just watching, same as if you were thrust into an epic quest (you kind of have to learn on your feet and pay attention, which if you’re not prepared for would explain why some people would get confused by this movie). The siblings are all fun to watch and fun to try and figure out. It’s also interesting to see them interacting with Jupiter, who is the reincarnation of their mother, and how they treat her like a mother despite her being several millennia younger than them. Eddie Redmane as the oldest brother and veritable “final boss” of the film is great as this ancient, entitled threatening figure, keeping his voice low, as if he is so old that he doesn’t see the point in raising his voice unless absolutely necessary. It’s obvious he had fun with this role, which again, is nice to see and makes him fun to watch.
I can, of course, see why people wouldn’t like this film, but I also think people are trying to take too much out of it. I feel like Jupiter Ascending isn’t trying to be some fantastic Oscar-winning gem of philosophical brilliance. It’s trying to be a fun, modern twist on an ancient story-telling method that incorporates myth from all over the globe, which keeps it near and dear to my heart. If you’re someone who loves things like Star Wars as well as Clash of the Titans and Jason and the Argonauts, this is the film for you!
The next film is Seventh Son, a film based on a fantasy book called The Spook’s Apprentice by Joseph Delaney. Featuring the talents of Ben Barnes, Julianne Moore and Jeff Motherfuckin’ Bridges, this film is definitely closer to the guilty pleasure section of my film repertoire. It’s nothing we haven’t seen before from movies like Harry Potter, The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, or even Stardust, but it was hella fun. This is something I can see myself throwing on in the background while I’m doing some homework or something and being able to get a few laughs as well as the classic rush of watching magic battles and giant monsters.
Jeff Bridges plays the delightfully grumpy Spook, John Gregory, on the hunt for Julianne Moore as Mother Malkin, the most evil witch in all the land. With the help of Ben Barnes as the seventh son of the seventh son Tom Ward, they hunt down Malkin and her witchy minions before the blood moon and her rise to power becomes utterly unstoppable.
With some twists and turns I didn’t see coming, not to mention the entertaining chemistry between Bridges and Barnes, Seventh Son was one hell of a ride that I found damn entertaining and offered my Dear One and I a great inside joke (“Fucking Witches!!!”). Julianne Moore is a great villain, and her costume is fantastic. Her army of witches is just awesome and the battles between them and the Spooks is just awesome to watch. Of course there’s the kind of lame love story mushed in, but it’s not so bad. Really the only issue I have with it is the fact that the girl, Alice (Alicia Vikander) is a weakling witch. Seriously, she’s directly related to Mother Malkin and her sister, both frightening blood witches who can turn into dragons, and she does jack all except teleport. She’s so useless and I don’t understand why…
Other than that I have very little to complain about. Seventh Son knows what it is and doesn’t try to be anything grander. It’s a fun time waster that you can watch if you’re in the mood for something like Legion but you want to keep your dignity. (No offence to Legion or its fans — seriously, no judging here!)
So finishes my account of my Valentine’s Adventure. I added two movies to my repertoire of watchable and liked, and something I am more than happy to share with the world. If you’re not a movie snob and are willing to sit back and have some fun, watch these movies. If you are a movie snob, learn to lighten up! Not everything has to be considered ‘art’ to be a fantastic experience.
Until next time. Love,
TheMadCEHMist ❤
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